i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
