Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
