I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
