but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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