You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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