He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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