I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
there is glitter all over my balls
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize