I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Four minutes until I can fart!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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