Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
