I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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