The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize