After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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