garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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