Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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