South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
