Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
