We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
