He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
they're like a gay fantastic four
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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