He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
