Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
