Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
worst night to have a conscience
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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