If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
