Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
