i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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