Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
