I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
