Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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