Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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