just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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