In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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