No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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