Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
