i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
