I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
