You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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