last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
