Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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