You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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