It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
