I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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