We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
