Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
