There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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