Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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