kristin has been a bad kristin
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
