Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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