dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Less talking, more tequila
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You were trust falling into bushes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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