singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
