I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
