i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
