It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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