Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
