nut hugger
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
